{"id":1871,"date":"2011-03-30T17:18:39","date_gmt":"2011-03-30T21:18:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/childrenofhoarders.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=1871"},"modified":"2012-09-20T17:04:09","modified_gmt":"2012-09-20T21:04:09","slug":"self-help-tools","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/?page_id=1871","title":{"rendered":"Self Help Tools For Hoarders"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/i77.photobucket.com\/albums\/j58\/COHDonna\/New%20Sub%20Album\/hhYAA.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"204\" height=\"192\" \/><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8220;Changing a lifelong habit is a difficult thing.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Even after clearing one&#8217;s home, many people who hoard have to always keep on top of their hoarding behavior. People can and do change and it is possible to say one is over something like this, but until we know more about what causes this, we won&#8217;t know what a &#8220;cure&#8221; will look like.<br \/>\nOne important component to successful treatment is not only to clear out each room, but to learn how to live and be comfortable with a cleared room.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20040714081612\/http:\/\/abcnews.go.com\/onair\/2020\/chat_hoarding102299.html\">-Randy Frost, Ph.D., Expert on Compulsive Hoarding<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8220;It&#8217;s not a house problem, but a people problem.<br \/>\nYou can treat the house, but that doesn&#8217;t treat the problem.&#8221;<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/drtolin.com\/\">-David Tolin, Ph.D., Anxiety &amp; Disorders Clinic, Hartford, CT<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h2><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/i77.photobucket.com\/albums\/j58\/COHDonna\/New%20Sub%20Album\/9700656-help.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"83\" height=\"110\" \/>Starting<\/strong><strong> <\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/dignity.shtml\">Remember you are worth   it<\/a>-by Squalor Survivors<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/selfcare.shtml\">Responsibility &amp; Self   Care<\/a>-by Squlaor Survivors, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mayoclinic.com\/health\/hoarding\/DS00966\/DSECTION=10\">Self-Care for Hoarders<\/a>, Mayo Clinic<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li> <strong>Messies Anonymous<\/strong>, <a href=\"http:\/\/messies.com\/get_started\/six_week_program\/\">A Simple Six Week Program<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.joyfuljubilantlearning.com\/joyful_jubilant_learning\/2007\/08\/things-i-had-to.html\">Article:<em> Things I Had to Unlearn Before I Could Let go of My  Clutter<\/em><\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/bigthink.com\/ideas\/42522\"><em>Article:\u00a0 Life&#8217;s Messy. Train Your Brain to Adapt<\/em><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Cost-Benefit Analysis<\/strong><strong>: <\/strong><strong> <\/strong>Before you can decide to change the behavior of hoarding you have to \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            understand how &#8220;keeping things&#8221; is helping you or functioning for \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            you.The behavior may seem meaningless in the midst of hating oneself for \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            not being able to change. Sometimes the function of one&#8217;s hoarding \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            is hard to see when you are in the middle of it.  A useful tool to \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            elucidate the hidden payoffs of hoarding is the Cost-Benefit- \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            Analysis.  The following is a series of helpful hints with this tool \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            because it is so vital to determining one&#8217;s motivation, ability, and \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            desire to change.<strong>Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle of \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            the page.<\/strong> On one side write all the advantages of hoarding and on \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            the other side write all the disadvantages of hoarding.  This may \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            seem overly simple or you may say that you can find no advantages to \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            hoarding.  An example of what a made up client might say with \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            prompting in a  physician&#8217;s office.<strong>Advantages:<\/strong>\n<div>\n<ul>\n<li> Don&#8217;t have to make any decisions right now<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t have to feel any uncomfortable feelings such as fear of regret or loss<\/li>\n<li>I can do something more fun<\/li>\n<li>I piss off someone in my family who I am angry with, but still appear innocent (unintentional but desired revenge to someone  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t                who has wronged me)<\/li>\n<li>I stay dependent and connected to someone I love<\/li>\n<li>People know something is wrong with me and take care of me<\/li>\n<li>I become the problem in my family and distract from an even biggerproblem going on (IE. depressed mother focuses on daughter&#8217;s \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t                hoarding instead of bad marriage that could potentially break the \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t                family apart)<\/li>\n<li>I hold onto memories, I have instant access to the past<\/li>\n<li>It is safe in some way<\/li>\n<li>It feels familiar, I wouldn&#8217;t know how to act or be without it<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s my way of resisting a controlling person in my life<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>Now do the same thing with the disadvantages. <\/strong><br \/>\nThese are usually easier and more straight forward.<\/p>\n<p>After exhausting this list of advantages and disadvantages (you might enlist others you feel comfortable with to brainstorm with you  to make sure you haven&#8217;t forgotten any), you are ready to rate the disadvantages compared to advantages.<\/p>\n<p>If you were balancing the two on a scale, given not just the quantity but the severity and quality of the listed points, which would be stronger the disadvantages or the advantages.? 50\/50  70\/30 or 5\/95? Be brutally honest using your intellect and emotions.<\/p>\n<p>If the disadvantages of hoarding out weigh the advantages&#8230;.. congratulations you are ready to change and most likely will with proper effort, time, and support.<\/p>\n<p>If in being rigorously truthful you find the advantages outweigh the disadvantages don&#8217;t despair&#8230; you have discovered a very helpful insight which will steer you on the proper path to recovery.  You \thave discovered that the hoarding is your solution to a life  problem.   Now your task is not to tackle the problem of hoarding but to first to find a new solution to your true problem.<\/p>\n<p>This should not be used in place of psychological\/psychiatric care or evaluation.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.hoarders.org\/\">*Source of this information<\/a><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>Challenges<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Perfectionism (from<a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/\"> Squalor Survivors<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Many people struggling with squalor face another battle &#8211;   perfectionism.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/perfectionism.shtml#perfectlyclean\">If   I&#8217;m a perfectionist, wouldn&#8217;t my house be perfectly clean?<\/a><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/perfectionism.shtml#allornone\">All-of-the-way   or none-of-the-way<\/a><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/perfectionism.shtml#lowerstandards\">Lower   your standards, improve your housekeeping<\/a><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/perfectionism.shtml#importanttasks\">Important   tasks vs. less important tasks<\/a><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/perfectionism.shtml#procrastination\">Perfectionism   leads to procrastination<\/a><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/perfectionism.shtml#indecision\">Perfectionism   leads to indecision<\/a><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/depression.shtml\">Depression &amp;   Motivation <\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/demand-resistance.shtml\">Resistance to   change <\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/guilt.shtml\">Guilt-Toss It First! <\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/worry.shtml\">Worry &amp; Doubt <\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.squalorsurvivors.com\/overcoming\/yourself\/indecision.shtml\">Decision-Making Difficulties<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"..\/..\/coh60x.php#top\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/tows\/slide\/200505\/20050506\/slide_20050506_301.jhtml\">Dr. David Tolin suggests<\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/tows\/slide\/200505\/20050506\/slide_20050506_301.jhtml\">, <\/a><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8220;The question to ask  yourself is not whether you can use the object, but whether you really will use the object.  A good rule of thumb is that if you haven&#8217;t used an object in over a year\u2014say, you didn&#8217;t even know it   was there until you found it on the bottom of a pile\u2014  you   probably can live without it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/i77.photobucket.com\/albums\/j58\/COHDonna\/9410d947.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"445\" \/><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2><strong>Commitment<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/understanding_ocd.tripod.com\/hoarding7_booksmagazines.html\">Ways to stay   motivated<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.clutterersanonymous.net\/tools.html\">Clutterers   Anonymous Action Steps <\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/understanding_ocd.tripod.com\/hoarding7.html\">Tips and Tricks<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Be brave.<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8220;Beating compulsive hoarding requires you to face things that are very scary,&#8221;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/tows\/slide\/200505\/20050506\/slide_20050506_307.jhtml\">says Dr. Tolin. <\/a>&#8220;I can&#8217;t tell you not to be scared, because you can&#8217;t really control  that. But you can be   brave. Be willing to face your fears. Be willing to risk making the wrong decision. The people who gain  the most are usually the   people who are willing to risk the most.<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;\">&#8220;<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Watch <a href=\"http:\/\/www.science.smith.edu\/departments\/PSYCH\/rfrost\/\">Dr. Frost<\/a> with a Hoarder (an actor?)  on a non-acquisition shopping trip&#8230;shown:     catastrophic thinking  (no cookbook=no friends)&#8230;purchase    resisted&#8230;high anxiety level&#8230;time passes, anxiety goes down. Patient   says:<em><strong>&#8220;Guess the book wasn&#8217;t so important after all.&#8221;<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Hoarding book (latest) by leading experts:<a href=\"http:\/\/astore.amazon.com\/childrenofhoa-20\/detail\/015101423X\"><br \/>\nStuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things, by Randy Frost<\/a><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Tools &amp;   Techniques<\/strong><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;\"> <\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n<h2><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;\"> <\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Questions to ask yourself while de-cluttering:<\/strong><br \/>\nBy: Elaine Birchall, MSW RSW, Social Worker, Ottawa Public Health; Coordinator :Ottawa Community Response to Hoarding Coalition, March 2006<\/p>\n<p><strong>Questions About Acquiring<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Do I have an immediate use for it?<br \/>\n\u2022 Do I need it? How many do I already have?<br \/>\n\u2022 Can I get by without it?<br \/>\n\u2022 Do I feel compelled to have it?<br \/>\n\u2022 Can I afford it comfortably?<br \/>\n\u2022 Do I have time to deal with it appropriately i.e? maintain it?<\/p>\n<p><strong> Questions About Discarding<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Do I need it?<br \/>\n\u2022 Do I have a plan to use this?<br \/>\n\u2022 Have I used this in the last year?<br \/>\n\u2022 Can I get it elsewhere i.e.. the library?<br \/>\n\u2022 Do I have enough space for it already clear and available?<br \/>\n\u2022 Do I love it?<\/p>\n<p><strong> Questions About How to Organize &amp; Let Go<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Start with one area; spend as many future work periods as needed to complete your goal for this area.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 If entrances, exits or areas near heat and ignition sources for example, (furnaces, stoves, portable heaters, baseboard heaters, water heaters or uncovered light bulbs, are a cluttered, start with them first for safety reasons and continue working in that area until clear. The 1st fire safety priority is clear routes into and out of the residence. The 2nd priority is entrance and exits from each room.<\/p>\n<p>caution: Extension cords should not be used for permanent wiring purposes i.e.. instead of adequate electrical outlets connected to the electrical panel. Make sure smoke detectors are functioning.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Begin by creating categories for possessions<br \/>\n\u2022 Sort into discard, recycle\/giveaway &amp; keep piles<br \/>\n\u2022 Use questions provided in &#8220;Acquiring &amp; Discarding&#8221; Sections to decide.<br \/>\n\u2022 Continue until chosen area is clear<br \/>\n\u2022 Imagine and plan and a more pleasing use for the cleared area<br \/>\n\u2022 Plan for preventing new clutter build up for that area by following the ideas in &#8220;Relapse Prevention.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Relapse Prevention<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Evaluate current reasons for cluttering<br \/>\n\u2022 Get yourself support:<\/p>\n<p>1.trusted family &amp; friends<br \/>\n2.knowledgeable counselor<br \/>\n3. Knowledgeable professional organizer<br \/>\n4. Online support as provided above<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Schedule regular times to organize &amp; let go<br \/>\n\u2022 Invite visitors home<br \/>\n\u2022 Anticipate known stressors and your reactions<br \/>\n\u2022 Apply skills developed so far and search out others to build on<br \/>\n\u2022 Identify resources for the future<br \/>\n\u2022 Be gentle with yourself and keep working at it.<br \/>\n\u2022 It&#8217;s what you do every day, no matter how much, that will get you where you want to be.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.&#8221;<br \/>\n(Dane County Elder Abuse Office &#8211; &#8220;This Full House&#8221;), Dane County, USA &#8211; 2000<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">========================<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dysfunctional Thought   Record (DTR)<\/strong>:<\/p>\n<p>A technique frequently used by Cognitive Behavior Therapists.  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            (From the <a href=\"http:\/\/home.att.net\/%7EJ-Claiborn-PhD\/index.html\">website<\/a> of James Claiborn, PhD.)<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;One of the tools many people have found useful in working on OCD including hoarding problems, is a Dysfunctional Thought Record or DTR.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/home.att.net\/%7EJ-Claiborn-PhD\/DTR.HTML\">Blank DTR<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/home.att.net\/%7Ej-claiborn-phd\/DTRins.html\">Instructions on how to use<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">=============================<\/p>\n<p><strong>Downward Arrow<\/strong> &#8211;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.ocfoundation.org\/hoarding\/therapy.aspx#downward_arrow\">Watch it in video with Dr. Randy Frost<\/a><br \/>\n(also, a worksheet can be found in the back of the <a href=\"http:\/\/astore.amazon.com\/childrenofhoa-20\/detail\/0195300580\">Buried in Treasures <\/a>book about Hoarding)<\/p>\n<p>Understand what you&#8217;re  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          afraid of, and recognize  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          when your fears are  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          irrational.<strong><br \/>\n<\/strong>Ask yourself:<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>What&#8217;s  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          the   worst that can  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          happen if I throw this  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          out? And how bad would  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          that really be? <\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nIf you&#8217;re  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          not sure whether your  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          fear   is irrational, try an  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          experiment. Try making  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          a specific   prediction  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          about what will happen if  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          you discard an object.<\/p>\n<p>Then discard it, and  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          really look to see  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          whether that   bad thing  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            happened.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">&#8211;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/tows\/slide\/200505\/20050506\/slide_20050506_308.jhtml\">source<\/a><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2><strong>Hope<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.ocfoundation.info\/hoarding\/support-groups\/ocd-and-my-personal-road-to-recovery.php\">Personal Road to Recovery Story<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/health.groups.yahoo.com\/group\/Messiness-and-Hoarding\/files\/OTD%20information\/\">Out The Door Plan<\/a> by a                                   successful person recovering of                                    over 4 years. (must join <a href=\"http:\/\/health.groups.yahoo.com\/group\/Messiness-and-Hoarding\/\">this Yahoo group<\/a> to view the link to                                    file section)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Don&#8217;t overthink.<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8220;If you have to go through a long and complicated decision-making process for each and every item before you get rid of it, you&#8217;ll never get free of the clutter,&#8221; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/tows\/slide\/200505\/20050506\/slide_20050506_304.jhtml\">Dr. Tolin says<\/a>, &#8220;Most decisions are not that complicated. If you find that the decision takes you more than a couple of minutes for a particular object, you are probably making it too complicated.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/www.vestasoftwaresolutions.com\/images\/helpful_links.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"185\" height=\"74\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.commercialofficecleaning.com\/professional-organization.html\"><br \/>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.commercialofficecleaning.com\/professional-organization.html\">Professional Organization-Cleaning The Right Way<\/a><br \/>\n<strong>Thank you<\/strong> to students at Catholic Memorial CSD for providing the link above to help understand the role professional organizers may have in the road to recovery from hoarding.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2><strong>Additional Reading:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/understanding_ocd.tripod.com\/hoarding1_why1.html\">Reasons why people   hoard<\/a>, from those  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          that do.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailyom.com\/articles\/2011\/28970.html\">The Weight of Objects<\/a>, from The Daily Om<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.onlineorganizing.com\/NewslettersArticle.asp?newsletter=go&amp;article=686\">Addiction to   Clutter<\/a>, \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          by Margaret Paul,   Ph.D.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.onlineorganizing.com\/NewslettersArticle.asp?newsletter=go&amp;article=685\">Clutter&#8217;s Side   Effects<\/a>, by Stephanie   Roberts<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.onlineorganizing.com\/NewslettersArticle.asp?newsletter=go&amp;article=679\">Clearing Your Space Through Feng Shui,<\/a> by  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          Beverly Marshall<\/li>\n<li>The Weight Of   Objects: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailyom.com\/articles\/2006\/2297.html\">Clearing Your   Space For Change<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/understanding_ocd.tripod.com\/hoarding4_hoarder.html\">Personal Stories from Those Who Hoard<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\" http:\/\/metropolitanorganizing.com\/managing-modern-life\/hoarders-guidance\/demand-resistance-understanding-it-letting-it-go\/\">Demand Resistance: Understanding It &amp; Letting It Go<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\ufeff=====================================<\/p>\n<p><strong>Sent in to COH Site by a hoarder in recovery to post:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 60px;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Quote:<br \/>\n<em>This is kind of drastic, but I think sometimes &#8220;what would I do if I only had &#8220;x&#8221; number of years to live? Or, only one year to live? Well, we all have a finite time to live, but what if that end were imminent? Sometimes this helps motivate me and I ask myself these kinds of questions:<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8212; do I want to leave this earth having this mess as my legacy?<br \/>\n&#8212; what about all my unrealized plans?<br \/>\n&#8212; what about my children and all of the things I have promised them?<br \/>\n&#8212; what will their memories be of me, will it be of my &#8220;stuff&#8221; or of me as a person and the things we did together?<br \/>\n&#8212; what about the people going through my things when I am gone, what will they think &#8212; will they laugh at me, throw everything out w\/out regard to value?<br \/>\n&#8212; what can I reasonably accomplish right now to make a difference in my life?<br \/>\n&#8212; what is the most important thing that i need to address right now that does not involve aquiring something new or bringing something into the house?<br \/>\n&#8212; how can I make a positive change right now to move towards my goal of a less cluttered environment?<br \/>\n&#8212; what are my hopes and dreams?<br \/>\n&#8212; can I really expect to finish all these projects? if not, which ones do I love to do? which ones can I let go?<br \/>\n&#8212; when will &#8220;someday&#8221; come?<br \/>\n&#8212; perhaps that someday is now!<\/p>\n<p><em>And, then I start. I start in a small corner and work outwards from that spot. Sometimes I jump around, although, a professional organizer said this isn&#8217;t good. But, sometimes I do it anyway. I always try to go back to where I started, though, and I try to finish the small task that I started. Sometimes I move quickly and sometimes I move slowly, but I move. I move and try to make decisions quickly and make progress. I try to keep focused on a long term goal(s) made up of small short term goals. What has to happen to make that long term goal a reality? I try to not get overwhelmed and focus on that one area &#8212; that one short term goal. I sort &#8220;like with like&#8221; and keep moving. Sometimes I take a break. But, after that I keep going. The key is to get up and move and start. <strong>Somewhere, just start.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 60px;\"><a href=\"..\/..\/coh60x.php#top\"><\/a><\/p>\n<hr style=\"padding-left: 60px;\" \/>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailyom.com\/articles\/2006\/2297.html\"><br \/>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Need Help Learning &amp; Sticking To Household Routines?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"Image\" src=\"http:\/\/i77.photobucket.com\/albums\/j58\/COHDonna\/a82f623c.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"Image\" width=\"56\" height=\"74\" \/>The FLY Lady <a href=\"..\/..\/www.flylady.net\">(flylady.net)<\/a> talks about how clutter really affects your life, and   how it is costing you:  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            From her book, <a href=\"http:\/\/astore.amazon.com\/childrenofhoa-20\/detail\/0553382179\">Sink   Reflections<\/a>, pgs. 24-27 :<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter is things that do not bring you joy<\/strong>,   you do not love, or you don&#8217;t need.<br \/>\nThings that you use, love, and   enjoy are  necessary and important to have. Things that you have in your home    that you don&#8217;t need or don&#8217;t like will have the opposite effect on you:  they   will make you feel negative and dragged down.<br \/>\n<strong><br \/>\nClutter is disorganized. <\/strong><br \/>\nYou may have   things that you love and things  that bring you joy, but if they are just stuck   everywhere and have no  real order to them, they will still have the same   negative effect. You  may have a beautiful collection of antiques but if they are    everywhere, covered in dust, with no sense of flow, then you are not  really   enjoying them to their full potential.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter can keep you living in the past, or reliving   the past. <\/strong><br \/>\nWhen you have things around you that don&#8217;t bring you joy   from your past, you can&#8217;t move forward.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter causes problems in your family. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Clutter makes you feel   embarrassed and ashamed.  How many times have you turned people away or   not invited people to  your home because of the clutter?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter has a way of taking over<\/strong> our lives before we   even know it. Clutter becomes that unwanted  houseguest that you can&#8217;t get   rid of. It robs us of peace while we are  home and it also steals any bit of joy   when we leave home. Worse, it  creates a feeling of dread when you know you have   to return to that  mess. How many times have you stayed late at work just to   avoid the  clutter in your home? What about those of you that will not go    anywhere because of the chaotic state of your home?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter has to be conquered. <\/strong><br \/>\nDon&#8217;t think so? Look at some of the things we give  up so we can   devote our lives to this selfish houseguest. I received a    message once from a lady who gave up her family vacation to clean and  declutter   their home for the safety of a crawling baby.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter-filled homes are not welcoming to friends or family. <\/strong><br \/>\nSo we do not invite them over often. When we do,  we almost kill   ourselves trying to get the house presentable so we  will not be embarrassed. You   knwo the drill. Major Crisis Cleaning  until 3:00 a.m. because they are coming   the next day. As a result of  not wanting to make the preparations, we alienate   ourselves from our  friends and family by closing our doors and throwing away the   key.<br \/>\n<strong><br \/>\nClutter does not allow your mind and body   to rest. <\/strong><br \/>\nThe guilt of all the clutter keeps you working  non-stop. You   can&#8217;t organize clutter; you can only get rid of it, like  a cancerous tumor.   Purge it from your life and you will find out what  living is all about.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter causes you to turn down<\/strong> invitations to   lunch or weekend getaways with your husband. It will  also get in the way   of you taking time for you. It yells at you, &#8220;You  don&#8217;t deserve to have any fun;   you have not taken care of ME yet!&#8221; Oh,  selfish clutter. Like a spoiled child,   it requires all of your  attention.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter also   sends a subconsious message<\/strong>.<br \/>\nClutter tells the world that you are not worthy.<br \/>\nWe have all heard it. If you can&#8217;t take care of  this, you can&#8217;t have   anything else. We have been brainwashed by this  clutter to believe that we do   not deserve to have nice things, since  we can&#8217;t keep our home looking   presentable. So we buy more clutter at  yard sales and junk shops because it only   costs a dollar.<\/p>\n<p>Now don&#8217;t fuss about this, I love yard sales as  much as   the next person, but think about the mentality for a few  minutes. Don&#8217;t we   deserve to be surrounded by pretty things that we  love, instead of someone   else&#8217;s cast-offs? When we quit wasting our  money on more clutter to feed the   already growing demon in our home,  we can save to purchase things that make us   smile.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter never wants you to leave home. <\/strong><br \/>\nThis is why it makes it so difficult for you to  pack and go on   vacation. Laundry has to be done; you have to get  people to come to the house to   feed your critters, or worse yet, you  need someone to housesit for you. Clutter   will never allow strangers  in its domain. It wants you all to itself. The bills   have to be paid.  Before you can go, clutter invades your finances and family    responsibilities. You don&#8217;t have wills done because it is just too much  trouble.   You stay home, so you won&#8217;t have to make the decision of who  will care for your   children in case of an accident.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter loves   to make you sick.<\/strong> Clutter attracts dust which then can affect your health.   How many of  you suffer from headaches, sinus problems, and allergies?   This way you  are totally dependent upon its way of life. It robs you of your    health, so this gives you an excuse to give it more clutter. The more  there is   the happier it becomes and the sicker you get. Sometimes you  will not allow   people to come into your home to help because clutter  has quarantined you. Or   shall we say imprisoned you in your dungeon?<\/p>\n<p>Here is yet another way to   see clutter:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li> Clutter is to our homes as cholesterol is to our  arteries.   This is scary, so let&#8217;s examine the similarities:<\/li>\n<li> Cholesterol clogs   arteries. Clutter invades the pathways   of our homes.<\/li>\n<li> Cholesterol increases blood pressure. Clutter causes stress in your life .<\/li>\n<li> Cholesterol reduces your life span. Clutter decreases your joy in living.<\/li>\n<li>Cholesterol costs major money when you treat it. Clutter pushes money away from you.<\/li>\n<li> Cholesterol causes heart disease. Clutter destroys closeness in families   .<\/li>\n<li> Cholesterol is a result of over-indulging in fatty  foods. Clutter is a result of over-indulging in   stuff.<\/li>\n<li> Cholesterol causes arteries to harden. Clutter causes hearts to harden.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Clutter&#8217;s main sustenance is chaos. <\/strong><br \/>\nWhen you are running around your home searching  for something in all   the mess, clutter is celebrating with a feast.  Trying to find a document on your   desk is not fun for you, but clutter  begets clutter. You end up making an even   bigger mess during the  search.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clutter   loves ignorance, because you know no other way to live. <\/strong><br \/>\nIf you did, clutter   would not have a home that  provides it with all the undivided attention that you   give it. You  have never enjoyed a peaceful afternoon without clutter   vying for your  every thought and deed. It knows that if you ever feel once ounce   of  peace, you will tell it to hit the road, because that peace is  contagious.<\/p>\n<p>Go to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flylady.net\/\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.flylady.net<\/a> to learn about babysteps and starting   the Fly Lady program if you are  interested. (it&#8217;s free, and it has helped   thousands and thousands of  people!)<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2><strong>Inspirational   Quotes<\/strong>:<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.clutterersanonymous.net\/affirmations.html\">Affirmations from Clutterers Anonymous<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/clutterless.org\/action\/quotes.htm\">Uplifting Quotes from ClutterLESS Recovery<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Learn to get past some of the   imperfections<br \/>\n-it&#8217;s ok to make mistakes.<br \/>\n&#8220;You don&#8217;t have to do a perfect   job,<br \/>\n&#8220;Just a good enough job.&#8221;<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/tows\/slide\/200505\/20050506\/slide_20050506_305.jhtml\">-Dr. David Tolin, Compulsive Hoarding expert<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">It all depends on whether you have things, or they have you.<br \/>\n-Robert A. Cook<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">You can\u2019t have everything, where would you put it?<br \/>\n-Steven Wright<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong>If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes.<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n-Unknown<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.<br \/>\nOne can only collect a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.<br \/>\n-Anne Morrow Lindberg<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Change your thoughts and you change your world.<\/strong><br \/>\n-Norman Vincent Peale<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Alone you can do it.<br \/>\nBut it can\u2019t be done alone.<br \/>\n-Sandra Felton, Messies Anon. Founder,\u00a0 on support<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The only way around is through.<br \/>\n-Robert Frost<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist,<br \/>\nor accept the responsibility for changing them.<br \/>\n-Dr. Denis Waitley<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing.<br \/>\nThe worst thing you can do is nothing.<br \/>\n-Theodore Roosevelt<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.<br \/>\nBut the Self is not something that one finds.<br \/>\nIt is something one creates.<br \/>\n-Thomas Szasz<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.<br \/>\n-William Faulkner<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.<br \/>\n-William Ernest Henley<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure<br \/>\nuntil he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying.<br \/>\n-John Burroughs (1837-1921 Author)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Your life is filled with possibility.<br \/>\nReach high, look forward and never give up. <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><br \/>\n<\/span>The world is  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            waiting for you.<br \/>\n-Marian Wright Edelman<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>There are many ways of going forward,<br \/>\nbut only one way of standing still.<\/strong><br \/>\n-Franklin D. Roosevelt<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong>Abundance is not something we acquire.<br \/>\nIt is something we tune into.<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n-Wayne Dyer (American Author)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Not what I have, but what I do is my kingdom<br \/>\n-Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881 Scottish Author)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.<br \/>\n-Anonymous<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Long-range planning does not deal with future decisions,<br \/>\nbut with the future of present decisions.<br \/>\n-Peter Drucker<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Striving for excellence motivates you;<br \/>\nstriving for perfections is demoralizing.<br \/>\n-Harriet Braiker<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Every really new idea looks crazy at first.<\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n-Alfred N. Whitehead<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The past does NOT equal the future!<br \/>\nIt is the moment of our decisions that our destinies are created!<br \/>\n-Anthony Robbins<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.<br \/>\n-Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931 Lebanese Poet)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong>Begin somewhere. You cannot build a life<br \/>\non what you intend to do.<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n-Liz Smith<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">We must all suffer one of two things:<br \/>\nthe pain of discipline or the pain of regret or  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          disappointment.<br \/>\nJim Rohn<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The valor that struggles is better than the weakness that endures.<br \/>\n-George Hegel (17701831 German Philosopher)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Every accomplishment begins with a decision to try.<\/strong><br \/>\n-Edward T. Kelly<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover.<br \/>\n-Ralph Waldo Emerson<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">What would life be like if we had no courage to attempt anything?<br \/>\n-Vincent Van Gough<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting a  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          different result.<br \/>\n-Albert Einstein<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Don\u2019t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put<br \/>\nthat passing time to the best possible use.<br \/>\n-Earl Nightingale<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare,it is<br \/>\nbecause we do not dare that they are difficult.<\/span><br \/>\n-Seneca<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Effort only fully releases it reward after a person refuses to quit.<br \/>\n-Napoleon Hill<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Real success in life means the individual\u2019s conquest of himself; it means how he has bettered  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t          himself not how he has bettered his fortune. <span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><br \/>\nThe great question of life is not \u201cWhat have I?,  \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t            But What <strong>am<\/strong> I?<\/span><br \/>\n-William George Jord<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">=======================<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Would you change? (D.Austin)<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><object classid=\"clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000\" width=\"425\" height=\"350\" codebase=\"http:\/\/download.macromedia.com\/pub\/shockwave\/cabs\/flash\/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0\"><param name=\"src\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/droBkwhNQUQ&amp;feature\" \/><embed type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"425\" height=\"350\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/droBkwhNQUQ&amp;feature\"><\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/i77.photobucket.com\/albums\/j58\/COHDonna\/New%20Sub%20Album\/card-something-unfolded.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"445\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<form action=\"http:\/\/pub40.bravenet.com\/emailfwd\/senddata.php\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\" method=\"post\"> <\/form>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Changing a lifelong habit is a difficult thing. Even after clearing one&#8217;s home, many people who hoard have to always keep on top of their hoarding behavior. People can and do change and it is possible to say one is over something like this, but until we know more about what causes this, we won&#8217;t &hellip; <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link btn\" href=\"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/?page_id=1871\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":3723,"menu_order":9,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1871","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","nodate","item-wrap"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1871","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1871"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1871\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1875,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1871\/revisions\/1875"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3723"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1871"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}