{"id":1286,"date":"2011-03-02T13:26:29","date_gmt":"2011-03-02T18:26:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/childrenofhoarders.com\/wordpress\/"},"modified":"2012-02-21T06:46:05","modified_gmt":"2012-02-21T11:46:05","slug":"tracys-story","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/?page_id=1286","title":{"rendered":"Tracy&#8217;s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>TRACY&#8217;S STORY<br \/>\nMy Mother Died In Squalor <\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Hoarding hurts more than just the Hoarder<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">She worked as a caring and thoughtful Registered Nurse.<br \/>\nEveryone who met her liked her.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Tracy\u2019s mother was creative: a painter, a seamstress, a lover of poetry.<br \/>\nHer house was peppered with framed sayings reminding her<br \/>\nto \u201clook on the bright side of life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">But, there was a fiercely guarded secret she kept<br \/>\nfrom the outside world:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">She was a Compulsive Hoarder.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Tracy\u2019s mom recently died in her hoarded home, and now<br \/>\nTracy is picking up the painful pieces&#8230;<\/p>\n<div>\n<p><strong>4-13-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"103\" height=\"78\" \/> Subject:\u00a0 My Mother Died In Squalor <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My brother and I received a call on Sunday March, 26th that they  found our Mother dead in her home. She has avoided letting either one of  us in the house for over 8 years.<\/p>\n<p>She didn&#8217;t show up for work on Sunday so the nurses where she worked  went to check on her and saw her car in the driveway but my Mom would  not answer the door. So they called 911 and busted down the door and  found her in this mess.\u00a0 Not only is her death devastating but the way  that she lived her life was beyond comprehension. It is the worst thing  my brother and I have ever had to go through. The only thing I can think  of is that she must have been extremely depressed or mentally unstable.  So we are trying to deal with all this.<\/p>\n<p>They said that they would not let us have a viewing. I was instant  messaging with my Mom on Friday night. I can only assume she died after  that. She had 5 dogs running amuck in the house crapping and peeing  everywhere, she even had birds that died months ago that she never took  out of the cages. She had a dog that died and she just wrapped it in a  towel and put it in the garage. The whole thing is just too much for my  brain to think about.<\/p>\n<p>We found out that she didn&#8217;t have a water heater and her fridge wasn&#8217;t working.<\/p>\n<p>I called a company that she asked to fix her water heater and fridge  and they told us they couldn&#8217;t do it and told my mother her house wasn&#8217;t  up to code and took her hot water heater and couldn&#8217;t deliver a new one  until she cleaned her house. EMBARRASSING!!! They even took her gas  meter; I can only imagine they reported her to the city. Her toilets  were overflowing with waste; I don&#8217;t know where she was showering. The  stench in the house was so bad I could barely breathe. Mice waste  everywhere and mice running around it was HORRIFIC! To know my Mom had a  heart attack and died in this mess is devastating. No one had any idea  the degree of my Mom&#8217;s depression. She went to work every day and was  clean. I am just bewildered! We had her cremated and had a small  memorial in the park where she used to go all the time.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t care what the cost for the rest of you whose parent is still  alive and living this way WHATEVER IT TAKES, have an intervention. I  don&#8217;t care how mad they get; do whatever you have to, to help them. I  don&#8217;t want any of you to go through this kind of pain. It&#8217;s like I can&#8217;t  even mourn her because I have this heaped on my shoulders and I feel  guilty.<\/p>\n<p>She would order tons of stuff from QVC &amp; HSN and never even open  it. Her finances were spinning out of control on top of it all. She must  have been so stressed out that is why she had a heart attack at age 61.  Her car was always a mess&#8230;there were signs&#8230;I wish had done  something, it breaks my heart.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4-14-2006 <\/strong><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><br \/>\nWell I drove to Clovis, NM today and tomorrow we will go back into my  Mother&#8217;s house. My brother went in today and said it still smells  horrific in there. All the trash is out but there is mice waste  everywhere. My brother said he wiped down the counters and cried a  little because he is wondering how my Mom could live this way. It is  inconceivable. I really miss my Mom&#8230;I wished I could have helped her.  Thanks for listening<\/p>\n<p><strong>4-16-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It is just so hard to wrap my brain around all this. And to think it  is so common. It is just bizarre. My Mom would go to work and be all  &#8220;normal&#8221;. She was a very heavy woman but she had to work in a clean  environment&#8230;she was a nurse. Isn&#8217;t that weird? I went by the house  yesterday and today&#8230;it is just beyond belief. And it just stinks so  bad it makes you gag and this is after someone took out all the squalor.  How did Mom justify the non use of utilities? I never had a clue.\u00a0  Honestly I knew my Mom was messy but I never imagined the depth of it.  THE HORROR!~<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I like to think of my mother like this&#8230;I believe my mother loved  the Lord&#8230;and she would have prayer cards and self help books around. I  would like to think of the Lord looking down on my Mom as His child and  saying&#8230;MY CHILD, ENOUGH, I am going to bring you home to Me. Now my  Mom doesn&#8217;t have to suffer, worry about bills, the mess, the  desperation, the shame&#8230;she is with her Lord&#8230;He is holding her and  hugging her and giving her the love and acceptance she needed. \u00a0He is a  loving and forgiving father&#8230;.THANK GOODNESS. I miss her though&#8230;and I  look for the beautiful things about her.<\/p>\n<p>This thing is like the elephant in the room no one addresses because  you don&#8217;t want to start a fight or hurt anyone&#8217;s feelings&#8230;You know  something is wrong but you don&#8217;t want to fight about it.<\/p>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>4-16-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Here is another weird thing about my Mother&#8230;sometime when Steve and  I were in college, my Mom&#8217;s Mom threatened to come to visit my Mom. She  had already started to avoid letting me and my brother in the  house&#8230;my grandmother told her she already booked a ticket&#8230;.my mom  was in a complete panic phase now and broke down to my brother about her  &#8220;messy&#8221; problem. My brother took 2 weeks off of school to clean her  house. He said it was horrible, and at that time he had to wear a mask.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>Hoarding Interrupts Others Lives <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My  grandmother never did come down but here is what happened next&#8230;My mom  had an electrical short in the kitchen and it started a house fire.\u00a0 If  my brother hadn&#8217;t cleaned up that house the insurance would have never  paid to have the whole house gutted and re-done. After the fire, my  Mom&#8217;s house was so beautiful&#8230;she got all new furniture and carpet and  counters&#8230;everything was replaced except for her bathroom which was a  reminder of how bad her mess used to be. For a while my Mom was really  keeping up with the house and if anything was out of place she would  flip out.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>The hazards are very real<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As we all  know, she went back into the same old habits except 100 times worse and  now with the hoarding. HSN &amp; QVC, eBay and book clubs and fabric all  over the place&#8230;.some boxes weren&#8217;t even opened. A week after my Mom&#8217;s  death we were still getting stuff she ordered from EBay.\u00a0 It&#8217;s like  they are filling some void&#8230;no matter how much they buy it is never  enough to fill the void.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know how it could have gone to total s**t that fast.\u00a0 I hope  this is not the case for those of you that are helping your parents now.  But I definitely think just cleaning it up is not going to matter  without some sort of mental help. Even spiritual help. It&#8217;s like feeding  your body to survive, you have to feed the rest of you, emotionally,  spiritually, physically you can&#8217;t starve one and expect to be ok. That&#8217;s  how I feel.<\/p>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>4-16-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I am still in mourning over my mother so I am on this site a lot. A  few months before she died, I sent my Mom that squalor survivor site and  wrote her a long letter about how I want her to want better for  herself&#8230;I only saw her car mess and freaked out about it&#8230;had no idea  the extreme mess of the house&#8230;I knew it was messy but HAD NO IDEA HOW  MESSY!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I told her how stressful it is for my brother and me that she hasn&#8217;t  let us in our own childhood home in years. That she can&#8217;t go and do  things because she walks a few feet and is out of breath. How worried we  are about her&#8230;how she seemed to be in complete turmoil&#8230;there were  times she would get really pissed off&#8230;then she wouldn&#8217;t talk to me for  days&#8230;Just to have you all here, feeling the same things and actually  understanding what I am saying has been a great deal of comfort for me.<\/p>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>4-19-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&#8230;my mother died in her filth. But you know what? She would not take  help or even discuss this problem she had. I know it is hard to  comprehend. Beyond human comprehension except for someone that is living  this way. I just can&#8217;t believe it is so common. I asked my brother to  take pictures. But something that is close is on the Squalor Survivors  website. Under KIMMY&#8217;S pictures. I even sent my Mom the link to that  website, and wrote my Mom a big email about it. On that website they  tell you the 4 degree&#8217;s of squalor&#8230;and My Mom was the worst one. It is  hard to say that out loud because if you read about it, it is  disgusting.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>They Won&#8217;t LET you help them <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><strong>4-19-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>You know what just sucks about this whole damn thing? Is you are  going to be the one to deal with it&#8230;.because if they die in this mess  like my Mom did, who else are they gonna call but the kids?\u00a0 OH I hate  it! It somewhat makes me resent my Mom. I actually told my Mom that  once&#8230;Mom, if and when you die, because you don&#8217;t take care of yourself  or your stuff, me and Steve won&#8217;t even be able to mourn you because WE  WILL BE CLEANING UP ALL YOUR *@*@!!!!\u00a0 And that is exactly what is going  on now. She never responded. I know she read it though because she  didn&#8217;t talk to me for days. Had I known how bad it REALLY was I would  have forced her to get help.\u00a0 I keep going back and forth emotionally  about it because I really loved my Mom. I talked to her every day. But  she would really stress me out. She was a loner.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I just don&#8217;t want any of you to have to go through this. Before long  something goes wrong in the house and the next thing you know my Mom  doesn&#8217;t have a hot water heater or even a gas meter. It is like a domino  effect. I really am sorry that we are all dealing with this, but I am  glad we have each other.<\/p>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>4-25-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I haven&#8217;t written in a while but want you all to know I am doing well  since going to grief counseling. I am also making a slide show about my  Mom&#8217;s life. (Minus the squalor hoarding thing of course)<\/p>\n<p>My Mom was a neat lady besides the glaring problem. She was a great  nurse, she could paint, sew and was a wonderful cook&#8230;.she was very  creative. Now that she is gone&#8230;I want to remember her like that. So I  am making a slide show about her life. It is helping me a lot. I know I  will have my moments.\u00a0 But for now I am Ok.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-1-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When my niece Taler was younger (She was about 7 years old, she is 11  now) she asked my Mom &#8220;Grandma, how come you don&#8217;t clean your house?&#8221;  But these kids loved my Mom and still wanted to go see her. A month  before my Mom died, Taler stayed the weekend with me and she said &#8220;how  come Grandma won&#8217;t let us come over anymore&#8221; I told my Mom what she said  and my Mom said &#8220;I know, I will plan to have them over soon.&#8221;\u00a0 I can&#8217;t  imagine the guilt my Mom must have felt.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-2-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Are there any success stories of people who stopped living this way  and are now normal after getting help? I just don&#8217;t think it&#8217;s about  getting it cleaned up&#8230;because I am convinced if they don&#8217;t get help  mentally or spiritually it is just never going to end. But I will not  give up fighting for my Mom and other people like her.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-2-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I remember one New Year\u2019s weekend my boyfriend and I spent the  holiday near where my mom lived. I drove through my Mom&#8217;s home town. Mom  asked me to stop by the hospital where she worked and visit her. She  showed me off to everyone and I felt like she was so proud of me.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I only saw her one time after that before she died. But I reflect  back on that moment a lot. It blessed my heart&#8230;that is my Mom&#8230;and I  loved her so much.\u00a0 When Mom came over for the Super bowl I told her  that I thought she looked like she was in turmoil&#8230; I know my Mom knew  that if Steve and I had known she didn&#8217;t have a hot water heater because  of the conditions of her house&#8230;there is no way we would have let that  happen. Mom was too ashamed to tell us how bad it had gotten.\u00a0 I can&#8217;t  imagine that she wouldn&#8217;t have wanted us to be proud of her&#8230;she  probably was so sad about the way things had gotten.<\/p>\n<p>My Mom wasn&#8217;t a bad person, she just needed help. I wish I would have  helped. I may have said this before but I remember her telling me about  waiting for her hot water heater all day, she even took off work to  have them deliver it. But she never told anyone that they wouldn&#8217;t  deliver it because he house was so bad. Then she died.<\/p>\n<p>I found that she had been written up at work for being sick so much  and late all the time. I don&#8217;t know how she couldn&#8217;t be sick all the  time I could hardly breathe in her house the smell was so bad. I even  called her out on it a few times. I would always ask her if she was  keeping up with the house.\u00a0 She would say&#8230;&#8221;Yeah, I am not doing too  badly.&#8221; It is just sad, sad, SAD.<br \/>\nKEEP TRYING FOR YOUR PARENTS&#8230;.don&#8217;t give up but also don&#8217;t let it consume your whole life. You have to live too.<\/p>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-8-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Mother&#8217;s Day&#8230;.It sucks for me. I get sad. But my boyfriend is  coming to town to spend the weekend with me&#8230; I will be calling a  probate lawyer tomorrow to get my Mom&#8217;s things in order. We have to go  through probate before we can touch the house and she never designated a  beneficiary for her pension plan either. This could go on for months.  So keep praying for me and Steve.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-12-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Went to the grief counselor yesterday. Didn&#8217;t think I would cry at  the therapist but ended up bawling my head off. I guess Mother&#8217;s day  stuff is really getting to me this week, more than I thought. The other  day one of my brother&#8217;s friends drove past my Mom&#8217;s house and said the  door was wide open. I COULD DIE!! So we called my Mom&#8217;s neighbor to make  sure no one had been in there. I talked to the neighbor and she told me  she went into the house (the squalor is gone but the house is a mess  and stinks really bad) she said she had to run out and puke and go back  in to make sure everything was ok.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>EMBARRASSING!!! Poor lady, she is really nice for making sure the  house got locked back up. I called the probate lawyer but we keep  playing phone tag.<br \/>\nI am really thinking about going to that company that took my Mom&#8217;s  water heater and asking them face to face if they felt any moral  obligation to report my Mom to social services? Or if they thought it  was ok to let her go all winter without hot water and heat? I am so  depressed about mother&#8217;s day I could hardly look at cards to buy my Step  Mom and Grandma. I just want this whole thing to be over.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>The chaos is left behind for others<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-14-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><br \/>\nMy Mom did have great qualities. But she let herself go. I don&#8217;t want to  lose myself like that EVER&#8230;I want to belly laugh, I want to love, I  want to be around people and I want to be proud of my life and my house.<\/p>\n<p>One of the last times I saw my Mom&#8230;.she hugged me for a long time  and she told me that she loved me. There were years she didn&#8217;t say those  words or hug me like that.\u00a0 It is weird because I am so opposite&#8230;I  hug people all the time. And I smile a lot, people say. Just do not lose  yourself in this parent trap. Don&#8217;t let this steal YOUR Joy! And just  keep trying if you can.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>Avoidance IS the compulsion with Hoarding<br \/>\nBills go unpaid&#8230;medicine goes untaken&#8230; <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><strong>May 15, 2006<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>GUESS WHAT!! SHE didn&#8217;t **@* pay the income taxes either!! Did she  take care of ANYTHING!! It just pisses me off! So she owes property  taxes for 2004 &amp; 2005 almost $800, it&#8217;s not that much money but it  just makes me angry she didn&#8217;t have her shit together It is just  embarrassing that Mom didn&#8217;t take care of ANYTHING. Who knows what else I  will find out about&#8230;I don&#8217;t think it can be any worse than the state  of her house. The toilets are still full and I can&#8217;t touch anything  until this goes through probate.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<hr size=\"3\" \/>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-16-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When my Mom died a couple months ago&#8230;we found 3 computers still in  boxes (chewed by mice) 6 sets of dishes, she hadn&#8217;t cooked in years. She  must have kept ordering the same things over and over and forgetting  she had them. WEIRD.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5-21-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>So now I own my Mom&#8217;s house (not that that is anything great it is  disgusting) so now I have to figure out what to do with it. I have to  get someone to get those full toilets out. I sat on my Mom&#8217;s porch  crying, disgusted that she lived this way.\u00a0 This nosy neighbor comes  over and proceeds to tell me&#8230;I can&#8217;t believe your Mom was a nurse and  living like that. What are you going to do with her car and her house?  Someone took something out of her backyard that I wanted&#8230;and blah blah  blah. I felt like saying DO YOU MIND JACK HOLE!! I am trying to brace  myself to go inside BY MYSELF! And you are not allowed to say things  about my mother! I am, but you are not. Then he tells me my Mom&#8217;s door  was open for a week. I am like then why didn&#8217;t you shut it JACK WEED? I  just want to be done with this.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>5-22-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><br \/>\nSo I called the company that dealt with my Mom&#8217;s hot water heater and  GET THIS!! She told them that it was her sister&#8217;s house and that she was  going to get her some help. She even sat in her car crying telling them  that she couldn&#8217;t believe her sister lived like this. They said that  they were doing the work and found a huge nest of mice and they started  running everywhere and that was when they said NO MORE&#8230;we can&#8217;t work  like this. Then they called a supervisor because they felt like it was  an unsafe environment and he called them off the job. I DON&#8217;T EVEN KNOW  MY MOM!! I have to call the IRS to see if she even paid her income  taxes. MY GUESS IS NO!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>They do anything to guard the secret <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-22-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&#8230;I just want to know WHY? WHY did you continue to use the  toilet&#8230;why didn&#8217;t you pay your property taxes? Why did you let the  dogs crap and piss all over the house and never pick it up? Where were  you showering? Why was it acceptable to live with mice running amuck  chewing up everything in site? Why did you not take the birds that died  out of their cages? Why did you have rotten food in the fridge and why  did you not fix the fridge when it was broken? Why were there maggots in  your car? What did you eat, where did you sleep? Why didn&#8217;t you ask me  for HELP!!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-22-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I talked to the hot water heater people again. They said this first  started in March 2005. It went on for a year. The people said that she  had HSN boxes and QVC everywhere when they went in a year ago.\u00a0 They  told me had they not been told by my mother that this was her sister&#8217;s  doing&#8230;they would have reported her and have reported people before. So  my mother didn&#8217;t have hot water or heat since March 2005, she died  March 2006.\u00a0 They also said they told her they would finish the work if  she got the mess cleaned up. She said she would hire someone to clean it  and would call them back. They said they didn&#8217;t hear from her for 2  weeks and drove by her house. And the door was locked and she didn&#8217;t  answer. I think it just got so out of hand that she couldn&#8217;t do it. So  she just gave up. It still makes me wonder where was she showering and  stuff? People at work told me that she never looked or smelled dirty;  she went out of her way to hide it.<\/p>\n<p>Why doesn&#8217;t anyone else step in to help?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>5-30-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><\/p>\n<p>My mother was divorced from my Dad when I was 6 years old. My Dad  told me that he couldn&#8217;t put up with my Mom&#8217;s mess. He said back then  she was really messy and didn&#8217;t take care of herself.\u00a0 He said when I\u00a0  was little they would come pick me up and my Dad would get all stressed  out because the house was a disgusting mess, and he didn&#8217;t want us kids  living like that. He told me he struggled with trying to get custody of  us because of the house, but he felt like that would have sent my mom  over the edge&#8230;that she probably would have ended up dying.\u00a0\u00a0 Mom  always blamed the mess on us, but Steve and I would always stick up for  our mom when Dad would get upset about the messy house we were living  in.\u00a0\u00a0 After we went to college, it got worse.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>This is when squalor happened. Sometimes empty nest brings upon  extreme hoarding and squalor. I still can&#8217;t believe the way she lived.  Can&#8217;t get over the toilet thing&#8230;and the animals dying in house and she  didn&#8217;t take them out of their cages. ??????????? (They were birds) The  dogs were all fat and happy. But it is just weird. I still think about  it&#8230;have been avoiding the &#8220;house&#8221; still haven&#8217;t decided what to do  about it. I know I have to remove the toilets. Asked for some quotes  online and no one wrote me back. I know I don&#8217;t want to deal with it.<\/p>\n<p>I just want to sell the house as is&#8230;they can bulldoze it for all I  care&#8230;I never want to see it again unless it is fixed. It causes me a  great deal of pain. Last time I went in there I kept picturing my Mom  dying in the huge mess and the dogs scratching at her&#8230;how could she  breathe in there? I could barely breathe&#8230;.it burned to  breathe&#8230;sometimes when I talk about it out loud&#8230;I start gagging and I  have to stop thinking about it.<\/p>\n<p>Did I tell you guys I found a little framed picture in my Mom&#8217;s house  that said \u201cI am the God of second chances&#8221; hanging on the wall. HOW  IRONIC. Meanwhile there are cobwebs and dead flies everywhere and the  stench of shit and piss &#8230;it makes me sad and it makes me sick. I say  MY MOM WAS TOO GOOD TO GIVE UP ON&#8230;TOO GOOD FOR HER TO GIVE UP ON  HERSELF.\u00a0 So my friends PRESS ON&#8230;..TRY TO HELP THEM SO YOU HAVE NO  REGRETS WHEN THEY PASS ON.<\/p>\n<p>Still missing my Mother&#8230;don&#8217;t want to remember her this way. But it is difficult.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5-30-2006 <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/..\/images\/tracy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"61\" height=\"41\" \/><br \/>\nI think my Mom did everything for everyone else&#8230;there was a big void  in her life and she bought things to fill it thinking it would  eventually fill up. The void was never filled then she became  overwhelmed and just gave up on everything. She was obese, lived in  squalor and hoarded stuff to fill the void&#8230;all waiting for that &#8220;SOME  DAY&#8221;:<\/p>\n<p>She would always say things like&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>SOMEDAY I will win the lottery and buy a new house<\/p>\n<p>Someday I will lose weight<\/p>\n<p>Someday I will re-do my kitchen in an apple theme<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Someday never came for my Mom&#8230;she died March 26th<\/p>\n<p>You are lucky&#8230;PRESS ON!! Just keep pressing on for your parents who are battling this illness.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">-Tracy<\/p>\n<p>We dedicate the Children of Hoarders website to Tracy (&amp; her  brother), her mother, and all those people who hoarded and weren&#8217;t able  to get the help they needed to overcome this disorder in their lifetime.<\/p>\n<p>You can watch Tracy tell some of her story on her local news channel:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/bit.ly\/TracyNewsStory\">Tracy local news<\/a> &#8211; Read about her in: Marie Claire Magazine: \u201c<em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.childrenofhoarders.com\/files\/Marie_Claire%5B1%5D.pdf\" target=\"_blank\">I Grew Up In This Mess<\/a><\/em>,\u201d August 2007.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"mailto:magpiesmom7@yahoo.com\">Contact Tracy<\/a> (You can also\u00a0leave Tracy a message for her to see when she comes back to check this page by posting a reply below.)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>TRACY&#8217;S STORY My Mother Died In Squalor Hoarding hurts more than just the Hoarder She worked as a caring and thoughtful Registered Nurse. Everyone who met her liked her. Tracy\u2019s mother was creative: a painter, a seamstress, a lover of poetry. Her house was peppered with framed sayings reminding her to \u201clook on the bright &hellip; <\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link btn\" href=\"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/?page_id=1286\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":94,"menu_order":11,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1286","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","nodate","item-wrap"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1286","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1286"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1286\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3722,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1286\/revisions\/3722"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/94"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/legacy.childrenofhoarders.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}